Been-there-Bean

May 31, 2008

(Conceptualized: April 6, 2008. 1:15am. By Glenn Michael Echavez and Minerva Miciano)

Next life is what we talked about. We imagined what we will become when reincarnated. He said gays waste their chance of being straight guys because they might become “Langaw” in their next lives.

He wants to live a simple life in his next life. Living in Sagada or Baguio. ‘Painting by day, lying sa duyan by afternoon and then drinking sa isang local jazz bar.’ I want to be in London, works as bartender in a classic bar.

I said I’m going to look for him, to remind him how good and special person he was in the past life. But how would I do that if I, myself, don’t remember how my life was. And here’s our solution:

In the market at Manila Below (the other part of Manila we imagined where the entrance is in the underpass along Lerma), we could buy a bean that brings back our memory of our past life.

The bean is called “Been-there-Bean”.

To purchase the bean, one must trade his/her first 10 years of memory of his/her present life.

“Yup. I will trade my memory. Magical experience eh. Pero mahirap din kapag walang childhood memories. Un foundation mo eh. Pero still trade ko pa rin,” he said.

So I thought of a solution for him to get his memory back.

We avail the bean. We die. We reincarnated. The bean will look for us. Eat it. Our past life memories back. Look for Manila Below. Trade something else aside from memory or bean for our first 10 years of memory.

Trade again our first 10 years of memory for the bean and get another bean for our next life.

“Parang immortals na tayo nun kase every lifetime natin kukuha tayo ng bean. May records tayo ng past lives natin.”

Immortals. The only difference is that we die. But after that we live again. We have no choice of who we might become in the next life. Its just we could get our memory back.

“Yep. Kung anong age ka nung pinurchase mo ung bean, same age sa next life mo makikita ang bean.”

We’ll buy Been-there-Bean for Jackpot, his dog – our noble buddy in Manila Below.

“Ganito ha, kapag tao ka, tao ka pa rin sa next life. Hindi ka pwedeng maging hayop. Same rule sa mga animals.”

And then we started giving background story for the Been-there-Bean vendor.

“Ung nagbebenta ng bean ay isang time mage, di siya namamatay, cursed to live forever for tampering and breaking the rules of natural laws. Tapos namatay only child niya nung 10years old ito. So nasasatisfy siya sa first 10years of memory ng mga customer niya.”

The bean is made from the flesh of his child. Its body is preserved. That’s why the bean is limited.

We’ll never know those secrets until we seek to know more about the vendor.

 

-End-

(For now. I hope.)

 

Updated: April 10, 2008, 11:30pm

 

The memory is stored in a tiny bottle. It becomes liquid as the vendor gets it from the trader. As he pours the memory in an old parchment, the memory comes to moving images.

After the images were seen, the memory turns into vapor and puts itself in the tiny bottle where it came from.

The first 10 years memory he got were treated as his prized possessions. (Nanakawin namin…hehe. )

The setting is changed to Divisoria – magical divisoria, underground market, there’s lots of tunnels to go through before getting into the actual market. It’s dark, murmurs here and there, dark stuff being sold.

*flashback scenes with vendor and child (girl, had a mysterious death at the age of ten.)

 

Sorry or Never

April 26, 2008

Smooth Sailing

It was already four months since he called me ‘honey’ in the middle of a celebration. He was never so open yet so sweet in his words. He loves my smell. He likes collaborating stories with me. He likes what I like. YET, everything’s not enough.

Yes, dear, I fall. And I am very much sorry for it.

He had this girl for two years and five months and counting. He loves her so much that I almost feel the pain when she hurts him, when that pity girl thinks of untruthful allegations, when that girl breaks his heart and still sending him messages, when that girl celebrates her birthday and I have no choice but not to make him feel my presence and have to greet her on that gloomy day, when that girl says “we’re cool off” but its really not, when that girl texts me when he’s still not home, when that girl asks me if he’s around, when that girl tells me how much he loves him and how happy she is when they are together, when that girl calls him and she’s deeply mad when he does not answer the phone, when that girl calls to his friends to check him out, when that girl wants to be with him but he cannot…

He said “Pag nagtanong si <that girl> kung magkatext tayo sabihin mo na lang na hindi.” Shame on me that I allowed this.

Sometimes it really annoys me, not because I like the guy but it makes me realize how immature that relationship is. Is it on or off? Does your relationship still works for both of you or not? I asked the same question to that girl without her knowing that his boyfriend is flirting with me. My fault, I liked the ‘’flirting honey’ thing that lasts for months and still counting.
And sometimes we actually duel in this argument: <that girl> loves my honey without even trusting him. How does their relationship survives? Ask them.

He only had me for fun… for our jokes…for our past time lokohan. And I’m not sure if this is me, but I feel I’m just doing the same thing. At times, I love him, but most of the time we’re just joking around.

My next step? Love him until it dies. No commitments, no responsibilities. Basta, I will just enjoy this until I can (I heard this line from a movie..hehe)

 

 Be-a-Ver

Just got my thesis copy from Sir Joeven. I never had a good memory on this because of my so-called-former-buddy. We were never happy on this since he collaborated with me and work on research.

Before the commotion happened, I am very much aware of my mistakes and “the power tripping” thing. To work well with my so-called-former-buddy, I ignored the gossips of those people who keep an eye on me. I planned to talk with him after the completion of the thesis so we cannot sacrifice any part of it and be able to explain my side on the issues he mentioned in his blog. I expect nothing from him but to listen. Yes, dear.  I was actually waiting for those thoughts to come out. And there, naunahan mo nga ako. Funny it is, I cried so much that the pain almost killed me. When the thesis was already book bound, I really want to tell him how I survived and become stronger, tougher and brighter.

Now, when it’s really over, I want to get back what I’ve lost. I am not sure of that two-year friendship to return on what it has to be. But I am really hoping that we could talk. Something’s pushing me to go near and ask you for a good conversation.

We still got one-year to fix this. Just pray. You know I believe on this: lahat ng bagay napag-uusapan.

 

 

 

 

 

UNFINISHED

March 19, 2008

Goosebumps, once again.

It was Wednesday, while I’m printing my thesis. I had him in my arms. He hugged me for real. We loved only for that second. It’s sweet. And painful. My phone is ringing. Girlfriend’s texting. Shame on me. Should stop this. I know. It’s hard but I have to.

 

I pity my Beaver

He passed a one-year subject without even really getting into it. E-mailed me of all his thought. He even posted it in his blog. Thankful for that. Well, at least people will know how unintelligent his thesis partner is and how stupid he is.

Eto reply ko sa message mo: *YOU PASSED THESIS BECAUSE OF ‘ME’*

 

Another year ends

Acad – last chance in having major subjects aside from OJT to be taken on summer. I will miss the smell of mass communication territory and the excitements brought by different presentations that we do. I expect low grades.

Advo – last term of playing the role of a secretary. “JUST” a secretary. Where would I put myself? I don’t feel like leaving the organization that taught me special things and helps me in developing my skills in paper works.

Social Life – I don’t have this but I gained a lot of friends in this school year. There is Nicole and company from AHSE who happened to be my friend because of Kuya Awi; IE tropa who keeps me in their Barkada. I always asks them “Teachers, may I go out?” and they would answer back, “Sure dear! And never come back” or “Mukha ba kaming banyo, ha?” or “You are already out. Drop the subject!” I wonder if they talk to their students that way. I can’t imagine teachers who advise their students to drop the subject. Funny it is, they always make me laugh; Rebel IARFA barkada who happened to be my ka-appear-an; Political party members that I met because they hate me for being an advocate or they are curious who the hell mimi is; my JRM103 classmates that until this moment, I still don’t know their names. I’m just familiar with their faces – shame on me that they know my name; Paul Mark Mortel who become my friend when he’s still working at OSUCKS as student assistant. My friends know how special this guy to me. <I made a mistake>. *smile*; girlfriends of my boyfriends; and others who are my so-called friends. Those who only says ‘hi’ when we see each other around campus.

 

I am Snitch, not bitch

Well, I stand on that. My former news editor is deeply mad at me. Why? Because she sees herself on me based on the rumors she hears about me.

Snitch is the small golden ball that Harry Potter always looks for during Quidditch. Didn’t you know that? Haha.

Call me names whatever you want. Thanks to you ORIGINAL BITCHES. You made me tough.

Thinks that I’m unhappy? Haha. You are wrong. My thesis partner is pathetic. So as you.

 

Lay-out Guy

You really don’t want to talk to me, do you? Until you are gone in FEU? Huh? Eto lang: SAYANG FRIENDSHIP.

 

Breathe

Advo Advo Advo. Work. Work. Work.

Graduating staff:

Aubrey

Kym

Irene

Sheilla

Kenneth

Diopia

Reich

Galira

Kaye

Kat llasos

Awi

Too sad. Their journey is just about to start. Will miss them. A big loss to the org and me.

Sigh. we have to say Goodbye.

 

JUST AN OPTION

February 26, 2008

Something to ponder on:

“Never let someone be your priority, while allowing yourself to be just their option.”

 

A good friend sends this to me via (the popular) text message. She knows me. She knows how stupid I’ve been for the past five months. And now, I’m doing the same thing. Sigh. Only proves that I’m really stupid when it comes to this kind of situation.

…Blah blah blah. Period.

…‘Little Mimi’ is a mistress. ‘Little Mimi’ realized she had never been a priority since she broke someone’s heart (corny…) a few years back then. Not that ‘little Mimi’ will call this as ‘karma’. But every time ‘Little Mimi’ feel special, her desire to push it through hurts her… much that ‘little Mimi’ can’t even breathe.  

…As far as ‘Little Mimi’ could remember, she’s now experiencing the sixth time. One, RP. Two, Bro. Three, Aw-Aw. Fourth, Beaver. Fifth, Panyet. Sixth? My ‘Honey’. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

…They all found their so-called girlfriends and forgot everything about ‘Little Mimi’. They all left ‘Little Mimi’ hanging in the middle of falling. Glad ‘Little Mimi’ gets used to it. But of course ‘Little Mimi’ was terribly hurt. Well, what ‘Little Mimi’ can say? It’s her fault, anyway.

…Waiting, since ‘Llittle Mimi’ saw Jack Dawson, for the right person to take care of her, to worry about her, to be her boss, to be her best friend, to be her comfort, to be her guide, to be her brother, to be her buddy, to be part of ‘Little Mimi’. None of them reached that but they became one of those once in a while. Sigh. 

…Sayang. I liked them. I enjoyed the time I’ve spend with them. They are not the typical guy friends I had. How can I turn back time to feel those joyful moments again?

…Still thankful of having them in the course of her college life and helped her in molding herself for being tough and strong and cheery and NUMB.

…Always an option? ‘Little Mimi’ thinks so. If only those guys had been more sensitive, ‘Little Mimi’ won’t be hurt.

…Glad ‘Little Mimi’ is a happy person. She gives her attention to more interesting people. Just like her professor who serves as an inspiration in her academics and who says ‘the feeling is mutual’ then smiles during their class.

…Glad she gained friends that make her blissful each day. ‘Little Mimi’ is tough. May be devastated at times. But as long as ‘Little Mimi’ smiles, she will never be distracted of things like this (her stupidity). She may always be an option, but as long as she moves on and waits for the right person, it proves that what happened and is happening to her is fair enough. Life is a journey. So she goes with the flow.

"honey" blah!

February 22, 2008

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah… and so on.

….Past time. They’re just playing. They just enjoy the feelings. They don’t know the significance on how they act. They don’t care what others would say. They are sweet. But not committed.

….“Ito ay lokohan. At ito ay delikado” – blah blah blah

….This is a typical situation. Yeah. I promise to the inner core of this blog: I will never fall to this kind of relationship… again. I learned from the past. Age-wise, I’m twenty – Old enough to control everything.

….Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure…